Happy Mammaries
I was resting between exercises in the gym this morning when my workout partner happened to mention that, in his opinion, girls' breasts are getting bigger, and that this was, also in his opinion, a good thing. It's maybe hard for me to comment objectively - if you compare the average corn-fed midwestern girl with her British counterpart there's no getting away from the fact that her breasts are likely to be larger. Whether there is an underlying trend towards bigger ones is another matter.
I must point out that what we are referring to here is natural breasts; both of us have agreed in previous gym visits (you have to talk about something between sets) that natural breasts are better. This is in contrast to my previous workout partner who was very much of the opinion that large fake breasts attached to a thin woman were an excellent combination. Breast opinions vary greatly between men, which is probably a good thing because breast sizes and shapes vary a lot between women, and there is therefore likely to be someone for everyone. Rather like an assorted chocolate box, where some people prefer the orange creams while others go for the vanilla fudge. I have observed, though, that breasts are also like chocolates in another respect: while guys will pick out the chocolate they like best, if there are only coconut ones left in the box they will usually eat them anyway. Any chocolates are better than no chocolates at all.
Breast size is an area where personal choice plays a big part. Some men prefer a modest but firm, pointy construction while others are drawn to large, pendulous melons. And some of us just like lots of variety. One school of thought holds that any more than a handful is a waste, but others would disagree on the grounds that you are then unable to stick your whole head between them. Measurement is, in any case, very subjective. The generally agreed unit of breast measurement is the BSH or British Standard Handful, laid down in a pub long ago as the official means of expressing size. However by the time it got to deciding whose hands were "standard" there had obviously been more beer consumed and the subject must have moved on to football because there appears to be no record of the British Standards Institute ever documenting the result. Nowadays the European Union or US Federal Government would be responsible for any revised standard, and we'd need ASTM or Underwriters Laboratories to create a test method, which would be pointless because the unit is usually used to express the estimated size of breasts that are probably still fully clothed, over the other side of the room, not aware they are being measured and not likely to be revealed for closer assessment later. Unless we're lucky.
The investment quality of breats is another factor for consideration, if you're considering them on a more than temporary basis. What will they look like in twenty years? Large ones can go from bouncy to saggy, but you're not safe with smaller ones either as they can end up like roofers' nail bags. The old stand-by method of looking at her mother is as good a guide as any. Best be subtle about it though - staring repeatedly at your future mother-in-law's titties across the Thanksgiving turkey could be a real conversation stopper.
Some men labor under the sad misaprehension that women have the same reaction to dicks as we do to breasts, i.e. that there's a whole range of shapes and sizes but they're all good. In fact most women don't think about dicks at all, except when they're out drinking with other women, and then they tend to express the opinion that it had better be big. However they may have little idea what they're going to get until it's unveiled later. It used to be that men at least had the advantage of knowing before they got naked with a new girl approximately what size breasts they were going to be working on. Nowadays, though, with all the gel-filled, push-up, padded and size-enhancing bras out there you might find that what appeared to be a 1 BSH in the bar is considerably smaller when measured "in the hand" as it were. Is this the reality behind the apparent increase in breast size in my gym? Is it all just bra technology? Personally I think not, given the correlation between breast and arse size, and the substantial rear ends attached to some of the aforementioned corn-fed midwestern girls.
Ultimately breasts, like Beaujolais wine, are best appreciated while they are young, and if pushed, I'd ask for a firm 1.5 BSH please. But if all that's left in the box is hazelnut pralines then I'm OK with them too. By the way, if you're wondering why there's no photo of breasts accompanying this post then I need to remind you that, just a click away, are more breasts than you could possibly view in a lifetime. Enjoy!
Copyright 2007 Edward Bison
I must point out that what we are referring to here is natural breasts; both of us have agreed in previous gym visits (you have to talk about something between sets) that natural breasts are better. This is in contrast to my previous workout partner who was very much of the opinion that large fake breasts attached to a thin woman were an excellent combination. Breast opinions vary greatly between men, which is probably a good thing because breast sizes and shapes vary a lot between women, and there is therefore likely to be someone for everyone. Rather like an assorted chocolate box, where some people prefer the orange creams while others go for the vanilla fudge. I have observed, though, that breasts are also like chocolates in another respect: while guys will pick out the chocolate they like best, if there are only coconut ones left in the box they will usually eat them anyway. Any chocolates are better than no chocolates at all.
Breast size is an area where personal choice plays a big part. Some men prefer a modest but firm, pointy construction while others are drawn to large, pendulous melons. And some of us just like lots of variety. One school of thought holds that any more than a handful is a waste, but others would disagree on the grounds that you are then unable to stick your whole head between them. Measurement is, in any case, very subjective. The generally agreed unit of breast measurement is the BSH or British Standard Handful, laid down in a pub long ago as the official means of expressing size. However by the time it got to deciding whose hands were "standard" there had obviously been more beer consumed and the subject must have moved on to football because there appears to be no record of the British Standards Institute ever documenting the result. Nowadays the European Union or US Federal Government would be responsible for any revised standard, and we'd need ASTM or Underwriters Laboratories to create a test method, which would be pointless because the unit is usually used to express the estimated size of breasts that are probably still fully clothed, over the other side of the room, not aware they are being measured and not likely to be revealed for closer assessment later. Unless we're lucky.
The investment quality of breats is another factor for consideration, if you're considering them on a more than temporary basis. What will they look like in twenty years? Large ones can go from bouncy to saggy, but you're not safe with smaller ones either as they can end up like roofers' nail bags. The old stand-by method of looking at her mother is as good a guide as any. Best be subtle about it though - staring repeatedly at your future mother-in-law's titties across the Thanksgiving turkey could be a real conversation stopper.
Some men labor under the sad misaprehension that women have the same reaction to dicks as we do to breasts, i.e. that there's a whole range of shapes and sizes but they're all good. In fact most women don't think about dicks at all, except when they're out drinking with other women, and then they tend to express the opinion that it had better be big. However they may have little idea what they're going to get until it's unveiled later. It used to be that men at least had the advantage of knowing before they got naked with a new girl approximately what size breasts they were going to be working on. Nowadays, though, with all the gel-filled, push-up, padded and size-enhancing bras out there you might find that what appeared to be a 1 BSH in the bar is considerably smaller when measured "in the hand" as it were. Is this the reality behind the apparent increase in breast size in my gym? Is it all just bra technology? Personally I think not, given the correlation between breast and arse size, and the substantial rear ends attached to some of the aforementioned corn-fed midwestern girls.
Ultimately breasts, like Beaujolais wine, are best appreciated while they are young, and if pushed, I'd ask for a firm 1.5 BSH please. But if all that's left in the box is hazelnut pralines then I'm OK with them too. By the way, if you're wondering why there's no photo of breasts accompanying this post then I need to remind you that, just a click away, are more breasts than you could possibly view in a lifetime. Enjoy!
Copyright 2007 Edward Bison
posted by Mr Bison at
3:20 PM
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