Looking Back

I'm thinking of getting into recycling. More specifically I'm considering recycling old blog posts. (I hate the word blog because it conjures up images of sad wankers posting pictures of their kids and agonizing over all their tiny little bits of life-angst. On the other hand I'm not really a writer either because almost no-one reads my stuff. And because I probably write the word "cunt" too much.) I got this recycling idea when I checked out a new blog this week. I noticed that Jaggy had a link to a blog by Misssy and so I checked it out. I was not dissapointed - it was excellent, especially the Jeremy Beadle joke, which was first-rate. Here's the problem though: even though Misssy's writing was excellent, entertaining, witty and all that, I only read a few posts. I'll probably go back and read her new stuff but I may never look at all the archived stuff she wrote before.

This is kind of ironic because I know I'll read other stuff in the coming weeks that isn't nearly as good - I ought to just read some of her old stuff each day until I've used it all up, but that's the problem with the blog format - it really brings out the ADD short-attention-span in all of us. "What's new? Anything new? No? OK, move on."

My father is a retired Methodist Minister (I guess this makes him a writer too, especially since he tends not to use the word "cunt" in sermons), and he is now being called upon to preach again in local churches. However, since he moved when he retired, he can pull out, dress up and recycle all his old work. Sure, some of the stuff that was topical twenty years ago is going to have to be junked, but he can still get a lot of mileage out of his "archive". I happened to look back at the crap I've written and there's more than 250 items. Quality control may have been lacking on some of them (owing to jet-lag, pressures of work and complete absence of any discernible talent) but I'm willing to bet that most of the people who "discovered" this site recently (and, for some reason, liked it) won't ever go back and look at the old stuff. What a waste! Some of my best work was back there - most gratuitous use of the word "cunt", most references to animal sex and most disturbing toilet stories - and now it will never be appreciated.

So I've basically got three options:

1. Slip occasional old posts in with the new ones and hope no-one notices.
   
2. Publish a "Best of Mr.Bison" or "Mr.Bison's Finest Hour"
   
3. Forget about the idea because no-one gives a fuck about the old stuff
   

On balance I already know that the right answer is Number 3, but I can't help thinking what fun it would have been to do the "Best Of" thing. I even came up with potential titles:

• "Up Your Cunt - The Best of Mr.Bison"
  
• "100% Bollocks - Mr.Bison Volume 1"
  
• "It's Not Just Sex With Animals - Mr.Bison's First Year"
  

OK, I know I have my head up my own arse on this one, but I did at least create the Bisonthology so that it would be easier for people to access the old crap. I wonder if any of it would be a good basis for a sermon?


Copyright © 2008 Edward Bison