Snow White and the Seven Perverts

Once upon a time there was a beautiful young princess called Snow White, who lived in a giant castle with her father, the King. After her mother had died the King had got married again, to a woman with the most fabulous titties in all the kingdom. They were so pert, and round, and full, with nipples like cherries, that none who had seen them would ever forget them. Snow White’s stepmother had a magic mirror and every night when she got undressed she would stand in front of it and ask “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s mazumbas are best of all?” To which the mirror would reply “Phwoooaar! Yours!” At this the stepmother would go to bed happy.

As time went by Snow White grew up and began to grow her own breasts. Her stepmother paid no attention, but as Snow White’s chest accessories grew firmer and meatier, her own started to point downwards a little and the nipples became less succulent (something probably not helped by the King constantly chewing on them). One night, however, as the stepmother stood in front of the mirror she asked her question: “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s mazumbas are best of all?” but she didn’t get her usual reply. Instead the mirror said “Snow White. Fuck me, have you seen her rack? What I wouldn’t give to shove my face between them and go flubbalubbalubba! Mmmmm!”

The stepmother was furious. How dare that little bitch challenge her mammary supremacy? On the other hand, there was no doubt that the girl had great tits. Immediately she summoned a courtier. “See here you. If you take Snow White into the woods and kill her I’ll let you play with these. Bring back her heart to prove it’s done.” Well, what could he do? He was only human, so he took Snow White into the forest. But as he ripped open her shirt to stab her he caught sight of her chubblies and he could not bring himself to harm them, so he told her to run away and he took back the heart of a deer instead. This way he did indeed get to pleasure himself with the stepmother’s boobs. But he was thinking of Snow White’s.

In time Snow White found herself deep in the forest, where she met a group of seven dwarves. Their names were Wanky, Jizzy, Sleazy, Humpy, Frotty, Pokey and Dick. They worked hard all day in the mines and needed someone to look after them so she moved into their little house and took care of them. It was a purely platonic relationship and Snow White remained chaste and untouched.

Back at the castle the stepmother was now convinced that her mams were once more the best in all the kingdom so she stood in front of the magic mirror and again asked “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s mazumbas are best of all?” The mirror replied “Mmmm. Snow White’s. Could I give her a pearl necklace or what?” The stepmother was apoplectic with rage and set about tracking down Snow White. Eventually she located the little house where she lived and, disguising herself as a country woman, she knocked on the door.

“Hello strange country woman” said Snow White, on answering the door “what can I do for you?”
“I’m selling these wonderful magic apples” said the stepmother. “They’re guaranteed to keep your nipples pointing upwards and ward off unsightly veins on your sweater kittens.”
“Can I try one?” asked Snow White, “only I’ve seen what happens when your tits get older. My stepmother’s will be hanging down like roofer’s nailbags before much longer and I couldn’t face that.”

So she took an apple and ate it, but it was poisoned and she fell down in a coma. The stepmother returned to the castle in triumph and this time the magic mirror told her that she did indeed have the best tits in the kingdom, seeing as how Snow White appeared to be dead and getting off on seeing a dead girl’s chest was just not his bag. When the seven dwarves got home they were terribly upset to find Snow White limp and unresponsive so they undressed her and laid her in bed.

Many years went by and a handsome prince rode through the forest. Eventually he came to the little house, where he stopped to ask for water, and when the dwarves invited him in he caught a glimpse of Snow White still lying in her bed, apparently asleep. He fell instantly in love with her and asked if he could kiss her. Sleazy said he could, but it would cost him two sovereigns, three if he wanted to use his tongue. The prince paid three sovereigns and walked up to Snow White’s bedside. He bent over and kissed her, but as he did so his tongue dislodged the piece of poison apple from her throat and she woke up. As she sat up, her eyes fell on the prince (and his fell on her boobs) and they were instantly in love.

“Come away with me” said the prince “My horse will carry us to my castle where we can be married.”
“Sure,” said Snow White “just let me freshen up a bit.” She pulled down the bedclothes and looked at her snatch, which seemed to be covered in crispy white flakes. “What’s all this?”

Seven pairs of eyes looked down. “We didn’t think you’d mind” said Jizzy “only it seemed like a terrible waste not to. The evenings are so dull and there’s been nothing to watch on TV since it hasn’t been invented yet.”
The prince pulled out his sword. “I’m going to cut off your tiny cocks you miserable little perverts” he raged, as he chased them round and round the bedroom.

Eventually he hoisted Snow White up on his steed and rode off. He wasn’t happy that his new bride was full of dwarf jizz but her rack was fabulous beyond compare and he could not resist. Snow White was happy too, as she rode away proudly wearing her new dwarf-penis necklace. In the end they reached the castle and there they both lived happily ever after.


Copyright © 2008 Edward Bison