Join The Circus
This weekend we went to the circus. Now that's not something you'll hear me say very often - in fact it must be more than thirty years since I was last at a circus and the experience hadn't exactly left me yearning for more, so when the opportunity arose again I seized it in much the same way you might seize a giant cockroach (i.e. reluctantly). It did occur to me however that this was a chance to tick the "dad" box and do something that Bison Daughter would enjoy.
Well, let me tell you that the circus was excellent. It had trapeze and high wire acts, a really good clown, tumblers, horses, juggling and other stuff, and there was never a point in the two hour proceedings where I looked at my watch (as I had expected to do) thinking "Just when the fuck is this going to be over?" I had no idea that this stuff could be fun to watch, but what appears on TV to be dull stunts suddenly becomes compelling viewing; maybe it's just because you're there, but it could also be things like the very real, and very large, drop to the ground being risked by the high wire act (no safety net) when they do the three-level pyramid on the wire.
There was a novelty act involving goats and, unlike the last novelty goat act I saw, this was one the kiddies could enjoy. Perhaps the best part though were the circus girls. There were various girls in the high-wire, trapeze and tumbling acts that were arrayed in figure-hugging costumes, bouncing, swinging and somersaulting their way around the ring with their perfect pert bodies. You know how there's always a sport where the girls (or guys, if you're female) seem to have that physique that you particularly like? Maybe it's beach volleyball, or tennis, or maybe soccer. (It's unlikely to be WNBA basketball, unless you like your women lesbiany.) Well, I think I like circus girls. They're like gymnasts, only older, with actual breasts and less risk of a statutory rape charge, or of bruising yourself on the ribcage. Not only do they have wonderful bodies but they could probably swing from the light fitting and land on your outstretched penis. (Given a bit of practice, you understand, and maybe a couple of bad landings during rehearsal.)
Before getting to the circus my only hope to counter the expectations of boredom had been that there would be a lion act, and that someone would get eaten. I think I may have communicated some of this cynicism to Bison Daughter but it didn't put her off, perhaps because of the wide availability of hot dogs, cotton candy, slushies, sodas, ice cream and snow cones. By the way, the only circus joke I remember was the one about the bloke who takes the job as a lion tamer:
The ringmaster gives him a whip and a chair and explains that he should crack the whip and make the lion get on the chair.
"What if he attacks me?" asks the new guy.
"Just throw the chair at him" replies the ringmaster.
"What if he keeps coming?"
"Then throw the whip at him"
"What if he's still coming after me?"
"Just reach behind you, grab some shit, throw it in his eyes and run for the door."
"What if there isn't any shit"
"Trust me, by then there will be."
Surprisingly, I had no idea I would ever take my family to see a young woman perform an act with a miniature horse. It's not that I haven't seen pictures of things like that in the past but I don't seem to recall that there was any cotton candy at those performances. Anyway, I came away with a new appreciation for the long tradition of the circus, the many generations of families who work in it and the real pleasure of seeing one "live". And the circus girls, obviously. You know, when I was a kid and I heard stories where someone ran off to join the circus I could never understand the attraction. Wear a big red nose and muck out the elephants? Yeah, that'd be fun, I don't think. But now I understand. When one of those girls in the leotard asks you if you want to come and pitch a tent with her, there's only one answer.
Copyright © 2008 Edward Bison
Well, let me tell you that the circus was excellent. It had trapeze and high wire acts, a really good clown, tumblers, horses, juggling and other stuff, and there was never a point in the two hour proceedings where I looked at my watch (as I had expected to do) thinking "Just when the fuck is this going to be over?" I had no idea that this stuff could be fun to watch, but what appears on TV to be dull stunts suddenly becomes compelling viewing; maybe it's just because you're there, but it could also be things like the very real, and very large, drop to the ground being risked by the high wire act (no safety net) when they do the three-level pyramid on the wire.
There was a novelty act involving goats and, unlike the last novelty goat act I saw, this was one the kiddies could enjoy. Perhaps the best part though were the circus girls. There were various girls in the high-wire, trapeze and tumbling acts that were arrayed in figure-hugging costumes, bouncing, swinging and somersaulting their way around the ring with their perfect pert bodies. You know how there's always a sport where the girls (or guys, if you're female) seem to have that physique that you particularly like? Maybe it's beach volleyball, or tennis, or maybe soccer. (It's unlikely to be WNBA basketball, unless you like your women lesbiany.) Well, I think I like circus girls. They're like gymnasts, only older, with actual breasts and less risk of a statutory rape charge, or of bruising yourself on the ribcage. Not only do they have wonderful bodies but they could probably swing from the light fitting and land on your outstretched penis. (Given a bit of practice, you understand, and maybe a couple of bad landings during rehearsal.)
Before getting to the circus my only hope to counter the expectations of boredom had been that there would be a lion act, and that someone would get eaten. I think I may have communicated some of this cynicism to Bison Daughter but it didn't put her off, perhaps because of the wide availability of hot dogs, cotton candy, slushies, sodas, ice cream and snow cones. By the way, the only circus joke I remember was the one about the bloke who takes the job as a lion tamer:
The ringmaster gives him a whip and a chair and explains that he should crack the whip and make the lion get on the chair.
"What if he attacks me?" asks the new guy.
"Just throw the chair at him" replies the ringmaster.
"What if he keeps coming?"
"Then throw the whip at him"
"What if he's still coming after me?"
"Just reach behind you, grab some shit, throw it in his eyes and run for the door."
"What if there isn't any shit"
"Trust me, by then there will be."
Surprisingly, I had no idea I would ever take my family to see a young woman perform an act with a miniature horse. It's not that I haven't seen pictures of things like that in the past but I don't seem to recall that there was any cotton candy at those performances. Anyway, I came away with a new appreciation for the long tradition of the circus, the many generations of families who work in it and the real pleasure of seeing one "live". And the circus girls, obviously. You know, when I was a kid and I heard stories where someone ran off to join the circus I could never understand the attraction. Wear a big red nose and muck out the elephants? Yeah, that'd be fun, I don't think. But now I understand. When one of those girls in the leotard asks you if you want to come and pitch a tent with her, there's only one answer.
Copyright © 2008 Edward Bison
posted by Mr Bison at
6:21 PM
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