Parasites

Let's all cheer for the great American tort system shall we? Remember that fire at the Rhode Island nightclub where Great White played in 2003? Well the plaintiffs' attorneys are still in the process of gouging cash out of people who had fuck all to do with causing the tragedy.

Yesterday it was reported that Sealed Air settled for $25 million because victims' attorneys alleged that the company made foam that was installed in the club as soundproofing about eight years before the fire and that it "burned too easily and gave off toxic gas". Never mind that Sealed Air makes packaging materials and has no control over whether someone chooses to use it as soundproofing in a night club. Or that no-one ever proved that the foam came from Sealed Air in the first place. Or that $30 million had already been recovered from other foam producers who also settled. Or that a case against American Foam Corp on the same issue is still pending. How many kinds of fucking foam were supposed to have been in this place anyway?

We all know what's really going on here: the people who caused the fire, by constructing a fire-trap with flammable materials and then allowing pyrotechnics (giant fireworks) to be set off inside, don't have any money, so there's no point going after them. But attorneys love a good tragedy - all those pictures of burn victims and stories of loved ones who'll never return work wonders on the low-IQ specimens that they'll pack onto the jury. No company can expect to get a fair trial so they pay up to limit the exposure and avoid the risk that some bunch of lowbrow fuckwits will award $500 million in punitive damages.

So who got shaken down so far? The radio station that promoted the show, the beer supplier, a pyrotechnics company and Home Depot. Home Depot? For fuck's sake, they sell hardware - just what were they supposed to have done differently? Gone to every jobsite where their products are used and checked it out personally for fire-worthiness? Which begs the question, what happened to the people who were supposed to have checked on the club? Where were the fucking Fire Marshalls? Places that are licensed for public performance are supposed to be checked, but clearly no-one bothered to look very hard.

And what about the pyrotechnics company? They sell big fireworks - they're supposed to explode in flames. If I shoved one up my arse and set it off I dare say I'd have some pretty disgusting burns to show for it, and I'd be taking a dump in a bag for the rest of my life. So should the firework company be liable for my pain and suffering? Should I be awarded punitive damages because they never checked that I wasn't planning to shove it up my arse when they sold it to me?

The public over here is an equal partner with the parasitic trial attorneys in these abuses. They assume that if something bad happens then someone must be made to pay. It must be someone's fault, just not the victim's. There was a case where a child was run over in the street - the driver was sober, licensed and driving under the speed limit and the kid ran in the road but the courts still awarded damages and his insurance company had to pay millions for the long term care of the child. Clearly if anyone was at fault it was the parents who didn't supervise their kid or didn't teach it road safety, but that argument won't make any attorneys rich now, will it? And jurors will look at the tragedy and expect someone else to make it right. With someone else's money

The reality is that as soon as some sympathetic victim shows up the lawyers start looking for anyone with deep pockets who can, by some arcane legal theory, be tied to the case. They also start looking for courts that are "easy" for trial lawyers to exploit, and jurors who are thick as pigshit, with a chip on their shoulders about "big companies". And when they gouge money out they keep 30-40% of it, which funds the next round of abuses. Who pays for it? Who do you think? It all ends up on us as higher insurance rates, higher prices and more bureaucracy.

It's now five years since the fire in Rhode Island but thanks to the trial lawyers plenty of people are still getting burned.


Copyright © 2008 Edward Bison