Reasoned Political Discourse
Based on what I see of the Presidential candidates, I'm starting to despair of the political future in this country. I've written enough about that wanker Obama already, and how he's only in the position he's in because he's black. Any other candidate with a similar lack of track record, who'd spent the last few years associating with racists and terrorists, and whose idea of politics is to simply take money from those who earned it and give it to those who didn't, would have been subjected to some serious examination by now. Admittedly he's a socialist liberal cocksucker, and as such is considered "off limits" to the left-leaning TV networks and media weenies, but in spite of it having been pointed out many times that a man who'd been hanging out at the church of the KKK, and who'd been associating with convicted right-wing terrorists, would have been chased out of the presidential race on day one, the media persist in giving Obasshole a free ride.
What really amazes me, though, is the idiocy of the Republican party. I proudly belong to the section of society in the middle - the people who don't blindly sign up to the doctrines of either party, and who make up their own minds. Let's face it, neither party would have me:
I like low taxation. I believe that Congress is incapable of managing money, and for that reason should be given as little as possible. I believe trial lawyers are the scum of the earth, and do little but extort money to line their own pockets, pushing up costs for innocent working people. I support the death penalty, and only wish it could be imposed for many more crimes, and much more quickly. All multiple repeat offenders should be executed as the utter worthless scum and leeches on society that they are. I support gun rights, and secret ballots for unions. Affirmative action is bullshit. Therefore I must be a Republican.
I support abortion (within reasonable limits) and don't believe that victims of rape and incest should be forced to carry a foetus to term just to satisfy some religious Group's hang-ups on conception. I believe in separation of church and state, and that creationists are functionally retarded and should be locked up. No-one should be running around with bazookas based on some ancient text about well-armed militias. The financial community must be regulated or they'll cheat us every chance they get. Therefore I can't be a Republican.
Clearly I'm not a Democrat either, since I haven't had my brain surgically removed, but it really doesn't matter what I am because, quite apart from the fact that I can't vote, it doesn't make much difference who gets in. Policy is made by organizations that buy the votes of Congressmen - it's that simple. Bet they don't teach that in your fucking civics class, do they? But it's true. You think you can call up your Congressman and ask them to help you? Dream on. Unless you've written them a big check they won't even talk to you. Some places they even specify (although it's never written down) how big a check is required. How did some bullshit tax change for toy wooden arrows get included in the bailout bill? In any functioning democracy there would have been absolute bloody outrage about the bare-faced corruption implied by crap like this, but here it just slides by. We're immune to it - it's just the way things get done in Washington.
Anyway, back to the Republicans. They could have put up any one of a number of compelling candidates against Obarmy - personally I would have liked to see Giuliani, since he's actually had experience running something big and being a statesman - but who did they choose? A grumpy old coffin-dodger who's got about as much personality as a dead hedgehog, and a woman whose one and only qualification for the position of Vice-President is the possession of a vagina. Yes, in response to the "only there because he's black" candidate they came up with the "we managed to find a woman" one. But not a qualified woman. Not Condoleeza Rice, for instance, but some moose-humping nobody from fuck-knows-where USA, whose only contribution to the debate is experience shopping at Wal-Mart. They fucking deserve to lose.
Is there another option? Well, Ralph Nader is running, but you wouldn't know it, would you? And why is that? The aforementioned left-leaning TV networks have been warned off giving him any publicity whatsoever in case he attracts their vote away, again. You'll hear NOTHING about what he stands for, which is a shame, because he's one of the people who see the corruption in Washington for what it is. You're not really supposed to vote for him though - just shut up and tick the box for one of the established parties so Congress can get on with pissing away trillions more...
Copyright © 2008 Edward Bison
What really amazes me, though, is the idiocy of the Republican party. I proudly belong to the section of society in the middle - the people who don't blindly sign up to the doctrines of either party, and who make up their own minds. Let's face it, neither party would have me:
I like low taxation. I believe that Congress is incapable of managing money, and for that reason should be given as little as possible. I believe trial lawyers are the scum of the earth, and do little but extort money to line their own pockets, pushing up costs for innocent working people. I support the death penalty, and only wish it could be imposed for many more crimes, and much more quickly. All multiple repeat offenders should be executed as the utter worthless scum and leeches on society that they are. I support gun rights, and secret ballots for unions. Affirmative action is bullshit. Therefore I must be a Republican.
I support abortion (within reasonable limits) and don't believe that victims of rape and incest should be forced to carry a foetus to term just to satisfy some religious Group's hang-ups on conception. I believe in separation of church and state, and that creationists are functionally retarded and should be locked up. No-one should be running around with bazookas based on some ancient text about well-armed militias. The financial community must be regulated or they'll cheat us every chance they get. Therefore I can't be a Republican.
Clearly I'm not a Democrat either, since I haven't had my brain surgically removed, but it really doesn't matter what I am because, quite apart from the fact that I can't vote, it doesn't make much difference who gets in. Policy is made by organizations that buy the votes of Congressmen - it's that simple. Bet they don't teach that in your fucking civics class, do they? But it's true. You think you can call up your Congressman and ask them to help you? Dream on. Unless you've written them a big check they won't even talk to you. Some places they even specify (although it's never written down) how big a check is required. How did some bullshit tax change for toy wooden arrows get included in the bailout bill? In any functioning democracy there would have been absolute bloody outrage about the bare-faced corruption implied by crap like this, but here it just slides by. We're immune to it - it's just the way things get done in Washington.
Anyway, back to the Republicans. They could have put up any one of a number of compelling candidates against Obarmy - personally I would have liked to see Giuliani, since he's actually had experience running something big and being a statesman - but who did they choose? A grumpy old coffin-dodger who's got about as much personality as a dead hedgehog, and a woman whose one and only qualification for the position of Vice-President is the possession of a vagina. Yes, in response to the "only there because he's black" candidate they came up with the "we managed to find a woman" one. But not a qualified woman. Not Condoleeza Rice, for instance, but some moose-humping nobody from fuck-knows-where USA, whose only contribution to the debate is experience shopping at Wal-Mart. They fucking deserve to lose.
Is there another option? Well, Ralph Nader is running, but you wouldn't know it, would you? And why is that? The aforementioned left-leaning TV networks have been warned off giving him any publicity whatsoever in case he attracts their vote away, again. You'll hear NOTHING about what he stands for, which is a shame, because he's one of the people who see the corruption in Washington for what it is. You're not really supposed to vote for him though - just shut up and tick the box for one of the established parties so Congress can get on with pissing away trillions more...
Copyright © 2008 Edward Bison
posted by Mr Bison at
5:52 PM
4 Comments:
Look! It's another unsolicited novel from Anon!
I agree with you on just about everything said here. Obama in position only because he's black, check. Socialist Liberal CS, check. Any white man with record of hanging out at church of the KKK with convicted right-wing terrorists would have been run out of town, double check.
I'm not too hot about Ralph Nader, though. On the basis of his health care policy alone, I would not vote for him. Nader also supports affirmative action. I personally believe in Bob Barr on more issues than Nader. Considering Nader used the Michael Moore film "Sicko" as a reference for his statistics on health care is enough to make me burst into tears. I believe in what Barr says about health care: "Today’s health care problems are complex, but the solution is not socialized medicine in any form. Countries that have nationalized their medical systems inevitably ration care through the political system; costs are driven down only by denying needed care." I think that's evidenced by the current European and Canadian health care systems, which Nader states on his website that he wants to emulate.
I think you're right about McCain (although I'd be willing to bet big money that he wouldn't die in office), and also about the Republican party in general. I've always had to envision the proverbial "holding my nose" while voting for McCain. Especially now, since I think his selection of Sarah Palin was a mistake. To me, it was simply a political gimmick. She may be an engaging woman who is doing an equitable job in governing her state (in their own overwhelming majority opinion), but she has no business being on that ticket. However, in my opinion anyone who thinks if McCain dies in office that Sarah Palin will have free reign and won't be basically a puppet is an imbecile. I'll give her credit though that in every debate it seems like only Palin has the fire in her to win. McCain seems so weak in the arguments against Obama that can be so easily made that most of the time it doesn't seem like he even wants the victory at all. I agree with you that initially I was hugely in favor of Giuliani, until he pissed me off by pulling the same "I don't really care about winning" act and then dropped out shortly afterward. But at least at the RNC he had the balls to get up there and say some things that needed to be said. For one out of few times, I actually agree with Bill O'Reilly in that McCain should have announced that Giuliani would be part of his cabinet, and then should have had him go out and kick some Socialist Ass during the remainder of the campaign. I think that's the only chance McCain had at winning, and he should have followed that advice. At this point, it truly depresses me to say that I believe Obama may win. I know without a doubt that despite McCain's myriad flaws he's still a million times better for this country than Obama would be.
So in this Obamination, be prepared for the following: all white men and women making above 250,000 dollars a year will be transferred en masse to re-education, brainwashing and Kool-Aid production camps in which they are chastised for not feeling completely entitled to government funding for everything from Halloween candy to manicures. They'll also be beaten for having an immense work ethic. Hugely successful C.E.O.s like Bill Gates and Donald Trump will be skinned and used as ads for recycling using their skin as handy and attractive lampshades.
Kindergartners will be taken on required night time field trips to public parks and restrooms, in order for them to closely witness gay sex. At the same time, police and fireman will be simultaneously screamed at by their supervisors for shining flashlights on the gays, thereby interrupting their thrusting rhythm. First graders will be bused on mandatory trips to city hall to witness their lesbian teachers' marriage ceremonies. The children who throw the most rose petals will, of course, be placed on the honor roll. At the same time, signs will be posted at the ceremony with pictures of Obama smiling and winking, with a caption underneath that says "remember kids, marriage is only between a man and a woman."
New tourism and trade agreements with North Korea will allow government sponsored U.S. exchange students to go to North Korea and get a glimpse of Obama's vision for the distant future under the presidency of his granddaughter.
Your taxes will be taxed. You'll be taxed on the number of earthworms you have crawling underground in your yard. If you're not gay or a minority, you'll be taxed. If your name is Joe and you work in the plumbing industry, heavy fines.
Michael Moore will be the first Secretary of State in history to be in control of all network and cable television news content and programming. He will ban all talk radio except NPR. The Association for Free Speech, Krispy Kreme, and the National Council to Ban Trans Fats will be the only approved sponsors for said programming. MMM MMM fun. Just you wait.
Hey Anon,
Couldn't agree more. My objection to the "Silence of the Nader" is not because I agree with what he believes in - more that no-one gets to hear what he believes in because the lefties are so shit-scared he'll derail their annointing of Obama by giving people an alternative.
I'd write more but I have to go and count the fucking earthworms under my yard - I fear there's thousands of the bastards, and if I don't get rid of some I won't be able to afforrd fresh petals for the lesbian weddings...
Cheers, Ed.
OMG you two crack me up! I wanna be anon when I grow up, and if I was a man, I'd wanna be Mr. Bison.
I love Palin, but mostly for her entertainment value. Ya have to admit, since Bush took office, he's not been too entertaining, and Chaney was non-existant, unless you count the "shooting accident".
As far as Independants go, I will admit that I voted for Perot a few years back, and look where that got us? CLINTON.
Lesser of the two evils is McCain, but it sucks that it ALWAYS boils down to that...not "OMG, this guy would make a GREAT President!"
Sad really.
:) Terri
I think the secret to being Mr Bison is not growing up. At least that's what Mrs Bison reckons... :-)
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