Thin The Herd
Today I'm suffering from Rhinovirus Homilis, better known as the Man Cold. Of course it didn't hit me during the week, so as not to interrupt work, but instead chose to fuck up my weekend. Yesterday I felt like shit, and was therefore looking forward to the cold progressing so that I would feel better today. Instead I now feel like double shit, lightly toasted with a side-serving of shit. Shit cubed, in fact. Yesterday I bought a mountain of cold remedies, not because I had a cold, but because the money in last year's health savings account is about to expire and I thought I may as well spend it on something. I don't know why I bothered - cold remedies don't do shit.
So I'll spend the rest of my day drinking tea and filling tissues with unhealthy looking phlegm, until I eventually give up on stupid cold remedies and mix some honey, scotch and lemon for a proper treatment.
In the meantime, since thoughts of illness and impending early death were on my mind, I was reflecting on the mess we've got ourselves in with old people. Let me put in simply: the fuckers are everywhere. They make up names for themselves, like "seniors" in an attempt to connote wisdom, societal status and rank, but we know them better as those fuckwits who buy a new Buick every three years, put white tires, a vinyl roof and a luggage rack on it and drive it up the pavement or over a bus queue.
To be fair, old people come in different categories. Mrs Bison has a relative of 102 who still lives at home and tends his own garden, whereas a significant portion of those twenty years his junior are sitting in a giant diaper being fed soup, if they aren't already pushing up the daisies. One centenarian in the same town apparently developed a penchant for internet porn, which is as far as I'm concerned a reason to congratulate him (although not to shake his hand); at least it gave him a reason to get up every day.
There are, however, legions of old people sitting around just waiting to die. A lot of them are warehoused in old people's homes, at considerable expense to them, their relatives or the government (i.e. the taxpayer, you and me). The problem is that people don't die of anything anymore. Back in the good old days a harsh winter would take care of the weak and feeble. Heart attacks, cancer and all the other old favorites would similarly thin the herd. But with all the medical advances of recent years it seems that the expectation in the medical community (indeed, their whole mission) is to postpone death indefinitely.
The problem is that while you can postpone death, you can't postpone aging, so that the animated carcasses you get left with don't necessarily have any quality of life. Of course the medical profession links arms on this point with religious groups who seem to have some major hangups about letting people die. This seems somewhat odd when you consider that the afterlife is supposed to be such a fabulous "meeting God, no more pain, eternal joy" affair. If Great Grandpa is kept alive by machines, is fed through a tube and shits in a bag, what's the big deal about letting him go on?
Leaving aside the personal morality, what about a bit of simple common sense? In 2004 old farts represented 36 million, or 12% of the US population; by 2050 they will number nearly 90 million, more than 20% of the population. Not all of them will be taking Viagra and going on cruises; a significant portion will require full-time care and constant, increasingly expensive medical intervention. At the same time we're being told that the healthcare system here is broken. At some point we need to grow a spine and confront the fact that a massive portion of our limited healthcare dollars are directed to the pointless extension of low-quality life. Not only is it spend with a very low return in terms of quality of life improvement per dollar, but everyone completely avoids talking about what a waste it is, while younger people die for want of quality care.
The danger here is that the AARP is already a powerful lobbying group in the US (meaning that by giving money to politicians they effectively buy policy). Why do you think that blind half-wits who don't realize the war is over can drive their giant Cadillacs through a school playground? The AARP effectively blocks any attempt to force old people to be checked for driving competence. Imagine that their ranks are doubled: now we have a society which will spend its entire working life generating money to pay for Mum and Dad's residential care, or their own. The US economy will implode and no-one will be able to buy anything except incontinence pads, tartan rugs and small, annoying dogs. We'll all be working directly or indirectly for the healthcare industry.
At some point we need to accept that people should die. When I was a kid we learned that there were about 4 billion people on this planet; we're now over 6 billion, actually closer to 7 billion, and expected to pass 9 billion by 2050. If you serioulsy believe that we can, and should, extend every life indefinitely, where the fuck are you going to put everyone? There won't be enough space to park all their fucking Buicks!
I vote for letting people push the button and end their lives when they're ready. And if you no longer know what's going on around you, that's a pretty good indication that it's time to go, so at that point someone else can choose. Hell, I can barely put up with this fucking cold, endless nose-blowing and feeling like crap for two days; if I have to sit in my own piss and breathe through a tube while I'm doing it you can sign me up.
Copyright © 2009 Edward Bison
So I'll spend the rest of my day drinking tea and filling tissues with unhealthy looking phlegm, until I eventually give up on stupid cold remedies and mix some honey, scotch and lemon for a proper treatment.
In the meantime, since thoughts of illness and impending early death were on my mind, I was reflecting on the mess we've got ourselves in with old people. Let me put in simply: the fuckers are everywhere. They make up names for themselves, like "seniors" in an attempt to connote wisdom, societal status and rank, but we know them better as those fuckwits who buy a new Buick every three years, put white tires, a vinyl roof and a luggage rack on it and drive it up the pavement or over a bus queue.
To be fair, old people come in different categories. Mrs Bison has a relative of 102 who still lives at home and tends his own garden, whereas a significant portion of those twenty years his junior are sitting in a giant diaper being fed soup, if they aren't already pushing up the daisies. One centenarian in the same town apparently developed a penchant for internet porn, which is as far as I'm concerned a reason to congratulate him (although not to shake his hand); at least it gave him a reason to get up every day.
There are, however, legions of old people sitting around just waiting to die. A lot of them are warehoused in old people's homes, at considerable expense to them, their relatives or the government (i.e. the taxpayer, you and me). The problem is that people don't die of anything anymore. Back in the good old days a harsh winter would take care of the weak and feeble. Heart attacks, cancer and all the other old favorites would similarly thin the herd. But with all the medical advances of recent years it seems that the expectation in the medical community (indeed, their whole mission) is to postpone death indefinitely.
The problem is that while you can postpone death, you can't postpone aging, so that the animated carcasses you get left with don't necessarily have any quality of life. Of course the medical profession links arms on this point with religious groups who seem to have some major hangups about letting people die. This seems somewhat odd when you consider that the afterlife is supposed to be such a fabulous "meeting God, no more pain, eternal joy" affair. If Great Grandpa is kept alive by machines, is fed through a tube and shits in a bag, what's the big deal about letting him go on?
Leaving aside the personal morality, what about a bit of simple common sense? In 2004 old farts represented 36 million, or 12% of the US population; by 2050 they will number nearly 90 million, more than 20% of the population. Not all of them will be taking Viagra and going on cruises; a significant portion will require full-time care and constant, increasingly expensive medical intervention. At the same time we're being told that the healthcare system here is broken. At some point we need to grow a spine and confront the fact that a massive portion of our limited healthcare dollars are directed to the pointless extension of low-quality life. Not only is it spend with a very low return in terms of quality of life improvement per dollar, but everyone completely avoids talking about what a waste it is, while younger people die for want of quality care.
The danger here is that the AARP is already a powerful lobbying group in the US (meaning that by giving money to politicians they effectively buy policy). Why do you think that blind half-wits who don't realize the war is over can drive their giant Cadillacs through a school playground? The AARP effectively blocks any attempt to force old people to be checked for driving competence. Imagine that their ranks are doubled: now we have a society which will spend its entire working life generating money to pay for Mum and Dad's residential care, or their own. The US economy will implode and no-one will be able to buy anything except incontinence pads, tartan rugs and small, annoying dogs. We'll all be working directly or indirectly for the healthcare industry.
At some point we need to accept that people should die. When I was a kid we learned that there were about 4 billion people on this planet; we're now over 6 billion, actually closer to 7 billion, and expected to pass 9 billion by 2050. If you serioulsy believe that we can, and should, extend every life indefinitely, where the fuck are you going to put everyone? There won't be enough space to park all their fucking Buicks!
I vote for letting people push the button and end their lives when they're ready. And if you no longer know what's going on around you, that's a pretty good indication that it's time to go, so at that point someone else can choose. Hell, I can barely put up with this fucking cold, endless nose-blowing and feeling like crap for two days; if I have to sit in my own piss and breathe through a tube while I'm doing it you can sign me up.
Copyright © 2009 Edward Bison
posted by Mr Bison at
9:09 AM
2 Comments:
I agree whole heartedly. If I ever end up that I have to get someone else to wipe my arse for me then just shoot me there and then. Dignity is gone by that point so there is no point in going on. You would at least have the chance of saying goodbye and telling your grand daughters husband he's a wanker and there's no chance he's getting his greasy mitts on any of your cash, rather than slipping off quietly and unexpectedly in the middle of the night and being found 2 weeks later by a neighbours dog scratching at your door because of the smell of rotting meat.
We are supposed to be at the peak of civilisation now, surely it is civilised to pull the plug at the time of your own choosing, when your ready, and pain free.
" . . .Those fuckwits who buy a new Buick every three years, put white tires, a vinyl roof and a luggage rack on it and drive it up the pavement or over a bus queue."
I just took a giant swig of water and blew it all over my computer screen. I'll probably go to hell for this, but I might support your case for euthanasia. I recently spent Christmas day holding my husband's grandmother, who calls me Cathleen, over the toilet while she puked up her entire ham sandwich. It was enough to make me want to move to Sweden, or wherever the hell they allow you to press the button early, when I reach a ripe age.
Post a Comment
<< Home