In Praise Of Bacon
One of the side benefits of unemployment is that Mrs Bison and I get to have lunch together a lot more frequently these days. It's a small benefit, I know, when set against loss of salary, healthcare costs and the arse-wrenchingly dull and painful process of networking for a new position, but you have to count the small positives...
Anyway, today's lunch happened to be bacon sandwiches, which, again, doesn't seem like it would be a major cause for celebration, but I've developed a renewed affection for this most satisfying of pig products, and all because of my ex-administrative assistant. I used to be firmly of the opinion that bacon was better in Europe - where we had meaty "Canadian-style" back bacon, versus the US, where bacon was thin, streaky and cooked to the point of being brittle and dry. Then I saw my assistant cooking bacon simply by putting it in the oven, rather than grilling or frying it. The result was just wonderful - that perfect stage between fatty and dry, where the bacon glistens and melts in your mouth.
Mrs Bison has really taken to this bacon thing, to the point where "healthy" turkey bacon has been utterly banished from the refrigerator, replaced by stacks of tasty, pig-flavored delight. The experience of eating it is so good that today she wondered aloud to me if it would be better, for a "last request" to have a bacon sandwich or an orgasm. And, you know what, it's not an easy choice. I'm not sure whether it's a sad comment on my sexual technique or a massive affirmation of the power of bacon, but Mrs B was leaning towards the sandwich. (By the way, I'm going for the "massive affirmation" one, in case you're wondering...)
I'm not over-concerned though. I figured I can make the most of this simply by wrapping my knob in fresh bacon. Everyone wins! Just have to be careful to let it cool after it comes out of the oven, otherwise I'll be on bacon sandwiches for the rest of my life, and I can assure you that no pig's going to taste good enough to take your mind off that.
Copyright © 2009 Edward Bison
Anyway, today's lunch happened to be bacon sandwiches, which, again, doesn't seem like it would be a major cause for celebration, but I've developed a renewed affection for this most satisfying of pig products, and all because of my ex-administrative assistant. I used to be firmly of the opinion that bacon was better in Europe - where we had meaty "Canadian-style" back bacon, versus the US, where bacon was thin, streaky and cooked to the point of being brittle and dry. Then I saw my assistant cooking bacon simply by putting it in the oven, rather than grilling or frying it. The result was just wonderful - that perfect stage between fatty and dry, where the bacon glistens and melts in your mouth.
Mrs Bison has really taken to this bacon thing, to the point where "healthy" turkey bacon has been utterly banished from the refrigerator, replaced by stacks of tasty, pig-flavored delight. The experience of eating it is so good that today she wondered aloud to me if it would be better, for a "last request" to have a bacon sandwich or an orgasm. And, you know what, it's not an easy choice. I'm not sure whether it's a sad comment on my sexual technique or a massive affirmation of the power of bacon, but Mrs B was leaning towards the sandwich. (By the way, I'm going for the "massive affirmation" one, in case you're wondering...)
I'm not over-concerned though. I figured I can make the most of this simply by wrapping my knob in fresh bacon. Everyone wins! Just have to be careful to let it cool after it comes out of the oven, otherwise I'll be on bacon sandwiches for the rest of my life, and I can assure you that no pig's going to taste good enough to take your mind off that.
Copyright © 2009 Edward Bison
posted by Mr Bison at
2:26 PM
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