Resisting Temptation

The next door neighbors are remodeling their bathroom and one of the things they're replacing is the toilet. This is a do-it-yourself job, so the old toilet has to be disposed of in some way. Tomorrow, apparently, is the day when it will be left out for the garbage truck. They're very nice people but the female half of the combination must be a little uptight because she's going to put a large cardboard box over the toilet rather than leave it out "in the raw" as it were. I don't think people in the Mid-West are supposed to admit that they actually have bodily functions - putting a toilet out just screams "I shit - and I've done it in this!" I suppose.

I could understand being a little reluctant to openly dispose of, say, an inflatable plastic love doll. Or a giant porno collection, an S&M suit with gimp mask and a double-ended "pink intruder" vibrating love toy. But a toilet? We all take a dump, don't we?

Anyway, Mrs Bison has dared me to slip out tonight, lift up the box and take a shit in the toilet. Don't think I'm not tempted, but can you imagine what would happen if I was caught? I'd be banned from suburbia for crimes against decency. And if I wasn't caught there's no fucking way I could keep a straight face when they came round to ask if we'd heard anything in the night...