A Happy Event

This attractive female colleague was telling me today how she was congratulated on her pregnancy by a woman in the office, the only problem being that she wasn't actually pregnant. This never goes down well with women, but in my experience it's only other women who make this mistake. It could be because we men are all way to sensitive and considerate, although it's more likely a survival mechanism which is deeply rooted in the male of the species. My guess is that all the men without this innate sense of when to keep their mouths shut died out years ago, unable to reproduce and perpetuate their DNA.

I did wonder how this mistake could be made - the non-pregnant woman in question is not in the slightest bit porky. But then I heard that she'd been wearing one of those fashionable "baby doll" style blouse things. (Or whatever the correct term is.) Everyone looks pregnant in those things. Anorexic women with skeletal xylophone-like rib cages look about six months gone if they wear one. They should come with a printed warning for unwary blokes: Wearer May Look Pregnant Even Though She Is Not. Do Not Compliment.

Of course, as I pointed out above, blokes are generally genetically programmed not to make this mistake (or indeed to give a shit whether a woman is pregnant or not, as a rule). However the reverse circumstance might be more of an issue - I'll bet there's been a few guys who got a woman back to their hotel room only to discover that underneath the fashionable blouse she was, in fact, actually pregnant. Or maybe just very fat. It's impossible to tell in advance...