Lots Of Balls
I have to play golf in a few weeks so I figured I'd better go to the driving range at some point and hit some golf balls, in a (probably forlorn) attempt to ensure that my outing is not a complete fucking comical disaster. Mrs Bison had nothing to do so I dragged her along so that she could sit behind me and make encouraging noises every time I hit one about twenty feet.
When we first arrived I drove up to the building where you get the balls and shoved my green bucket under the machine. I got ninety, on the basis that if I'm going to screw something up then I'm going to screw it up properly. Normally I'd put the bucket of balls in the footwell of the front passenger seat so that I could drive over to the tees, but on this occasion my good lady wife was occupying the seat. This gave me the opportunity to walk up to her, open the door, and exclaim in a loud voice "Will you hold my balls?"
She actually accused me of bringing her along solely so that I could do that. As if...
When we first arrived I drove up to the building where you get the balls and shoved my green bucket under the machine. I got ninety, on the basis that if I'm going to screw something up then I'm going to screw it up properly. Normally I'd put the bucket of balls in the footwell of the front passenger seat so that I could drive over to the tees, but on this occasion my good lady wife was occupying the seat. This gave me the opportunity to walk up to her, open the door, and exclaim in a loud voice "Will you hold my balls?"
She actually accused me of bringing her along solely so that I could do that. As if...
posted by Mr Bison at
6:07 PM
2 Comments:
I took Jaggy Jnr and Nephew 2 to the driving range last week and I rolled about in laughter when Jaggy Jnr put in the token for 100 balls then stood back and watched as the machine threw 100 golf balls all over the floor. He will never again forget the "Bucket first" principle.
next time how about something more exotic like, "can you rub a little hot emu oil into my shaft dear it does soothe my chafing palms"
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