Spare Some Change

It's time to plan the Christmas festivities. This year's plan involves food, drink and no further planning. There's no travel required and hopefully a minimum of stress. When Mrs Bison was still a girl, her mother, faced with a relaxing Christmas at home, apparently used to talk about finding a tramp and bringing him home for Christmas dinner, a suggestion met, unsurprisingly, with horror from her offspring. I don't know whether she ever seriously considered getting a tramp in, or whether it was just a guilt reaction to having a nice Christmas with good food in a warm home. Maybe she just missed the scent of urine around the house or something.

Yesterday, Mrs Bison was at a school party with Bison Daughter and this other mother asked what we were doing for Christmas. When she heard that we were going to be "alone" with "only one child" and "no family" she instantly invited us for Christmas dinner. Mrs Bison was not happy - in spite of the apparent good intentions she loathed being thought of as a charity case - we actually enjoy having Christmas at home, and it would be hard to imagine anything worse than having to be "on good behavior" at someone else's house, rather than relaxing unkempt with Cadbury's chocolate liqueur and Scotch while Bison Daughter savages Christmas presents at home.

I can only imagine the reaction at the other woman's house if we'd said "yes". We'd be like the tramp from Mrs Bison's childhood, except that we'd actually show up. Hopefully without the urine smell and masturbating in public, but probably no less unwelcome. Narrow escape...