Rush Job

Congratulations to the coalition of vociferous race-baiters for getting Rush Limbaugh dropped from the group bidding for ownership of the St.Louis Rams football team. I'm sure it will warm the hearts of NFL owners and players that this man with his, um, opinions won't be in a position to damage the reputation of the league.

No, we wouldn't want an controversy behind the scenes to detract from the parade of animal torturers, drug abusers, drunk drivers, firearms criminals, wife beaters and violent offenders who don a uniform and actually get on TV every week, would we?

Just goes to show, you can be any kind of scum and the league will welcome you with open arms. The NFL Players Association will fight for your right to keep your big fat bonus and keep on playing, no matter what crime you committed. But for the crime of having conservative opinions there is apparently no forgiveness. Sure, black players would refuse to play for Rush Limbaugh, but they'll happily suit up beside an unrepentant drunk-driving killer. Hypocrisy anyone?

Well Blow Me

So Obama makes a couple of speeches where he talks about improving relationships with the Muslim world and ridding the world of nuclear weapons, and suddenly he gets a Nobel Peace Prize. Are you shitting me? Don't you actually have to do something to win a prize?

It's good news for me though. I just told myself that I'm going to grow a twenty inch dick, and a tongue that can reach the back of my head, and as a consequence I fully expect to get the AVN award for Best Male Performer this year. That's the porn industry Oscar, in case you didn't know. Clearly it's not necessary that I actually star in a porn movie - I'll get the award just for imagining it, right?

Of course the AVN awards have a whole host of categories for male and female actors, including Best Oral Sex Scene. No kidding. Not that there's any point entering it this year - the award will surely go to the Nobel judges for their shameless cock-sucking of Obama.