Category Archives: Buy My Book

Top Humor Book of 2012

buy stocking stuffer book

Presenting Mr Bison’s Journal, destined to become the top humor book of 2012. A laugh out loud funny read.

Here is what one reader had to say

Now, I beg to find someone who hasn’t at least got within a millimetre of experiencing or thinking about something that is in this tome of copious, wry, and blatantly ranting observation of anything and everything. Little Red Riding Hood shows the ultimate stripped back ( quite literally) version of what the story is actually about – she is a dirty little cow, enough said. This isn’t a book of parodies though, delve into the chasm ( phnaar phnaar) of work related, home related and airborne related tit bits ( ooooeerrrr) and be prepared to emit more than a laugh as your bladder contracts involuntarily and you end up with a wet shoe from guffaws and chuckles. Buy buy buy.

Don’t delay get your copy today on Amazon. Available both in paperback and Kindle

Carbless Hell

I’ve been repeating a process I followed several years ago which involves losing weight by cutting out carbs. Not all carbs, you understand, just potatoes, rice, pasta and bread. I also minimize other carbs, such as desserts, but I don’t cut them out, even though I’d lose weight faster, because once you take the carbs out of life you pretty much extinguish the joy.

So the process is slow, but I lost about 10lbs without having to go hungry. However, I would be happy never to see another boiled egg, tin of fish or salad again. When I’m feeding myself I can stay on track by the simple expedient of not buying any good food. That way all I have to choose from in the evening is salads, and I can just about make myself take a “man-salad” to work too. (Man-salad consists of some lettuce covered with stuff that you would actually like to eat, such as cheese, nuts, tuna and dressing in sufficient quantity to minimize the effect of the lettuce while allowing you to tick the “I had a salad for lunch” box.)

Back in Chicago though I am in Mrs Bison’s realm, and while she likes my diet and will buy me all the proteiny stuff I need, she also buys treats. Like ice cream, pastries, imported Lion Bars, Aero chocolate, good bread, samosas and cake. Even the bag of nuts she bought me had good stuff in, like chocolate bits. And I eat all this because, well, because of the joy thing I mentioned above. This weekend was not a good one for restraint, but I sat at the table next to a gigantic fat bitch in Red Robin last week and managed to eat a salad. Her fries might have been bottomless, but she clearly wasn’t, so I have a way to go before I need to worry…

By the way, did I mention that I have a book out?

Now Buy The Book!

Mr bisons Journal

Your Ideal Toilet Companion

So what’s going on with you today? Anything happening that’s going to impact your existence? Forget the US election – that’s weeks away, and you’re probably screwed no matter who wins. Overseas news? Do me a favor. Syria could disappear up its own arse and if you’re brutally honest you wouldn’t even notice. But the release of Mr. Bison’s Journal in paperback? That’s the kind of thing that could really make a difference!

You see, the reality is that no matter what happens in the world, short of full scale nuclear war, the likelihood is that your tomorrow will be much like your today. And your mission is to make your tomorrow a bit better than today, every day, until you die. I can’t offer you money or sex (actually, sex might be an option, but I’m going to need to see a photo) but what I can offer you is a book to make your time on the toilet, or your train journey, or airport delay just that bit less boring than usual.

This book could do that for you. Just imagine less monotonous bowel movements – this could be your future! Don’t delay – toilet reading gratification could be a few clicks away.

It’s available through Amazon as a Kindle download in the US  HERE, (for the UK go HERE), but for those of you who prefer the turn of a real page and a good old-fashioned book, the paperback version is HERE in the US and HERE in the UK. Buy it now, and I can promise you I’ll be glad you did.

Great News!

We are approaching the beginning of a new chapter in the literary world. No, I don’t mean the launch of the latest 25lb yawn fest from JK Rowling, and nor do I mean the record-setting sales numbers from Fifty Shades of Mommies Fingering Themselves Off. No, it’s way better than that – it’s almost time to welcome Mr. Bison’s Journal – The Book. In spite of a complete lack of popular demand, but inspired by the novel concept that “if I thought it was funny then lots of other people will too” I am pleased to announce, just in time for the Christmas shopping season, the upcoming availability of the ultimate family stocking-stuffer. Well, maybe not “family”, unless your family’s like mine. More of an R-rated opus, really, but very funny all the same.

Page after page of insightful, profane prose, exactly as you’ve come to love and expect. Christmas will be upon you before you know it, and let’s face it, you haven’t got a clue what to get anyone. Avoid the risk of Christmas morning embarrassment – there’s not the slightest chance someone else will get your loved one the same gift. Not celebrating Christmas? This works just as well no matter what your belief system – it’s guaranteed to shock and appall indiscriminately. Buy one immediately. I can’t promise you won’t regret it, but I can assure you I won’t. Start counting down the days…