It’s sad how the excitement associated with the major gift-giving occasions dissipates as you get older. When you’re a kid every birthday or Christmas holds the potential for some fabulous surprise. Admittedly the surprises were cheaper and simpler when I was a kid – it’s hard to imagine anyone today getting all hopped up on the possibility of a digital watch, for instance – but there are tons of ways to light up a kid’s face with gifts. Once you’re a fully fledged adult, however, birthdays are more likely to be an exercise in disappointment, tinged with the increasing relief as the years go by that you didn’t die in the course of the preceding year.

Why is this? Perhaps it’s the fact that all the reasonably priced sources of delight will have been purchased by you already, leaving only expensive stuff (that people won’t buy for you) and shit (about which they have no such qualms). With Christmas just around the corner I’d suggest investing in stocks of companies that make and sell shit; history suggests that they’ll do well again this year…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *